Chocolate Beer Cake

contributed by Andrew Plotkin

(Keywords: chocolate beer cake dessert )


I bought one of those crappy cookbooks off the $3.98 table at B&N. It was about beer. I made some cheese and beer dip (which came out nicely, but that's a different recipe).

This left me with a half-bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

I taste the beer. Hmm. The word "chocolate" drifts into my brain.

I did this:


Put the cream cheese and half the chocolate (2 oz) into a bowl. Heat in microwave until soft (neither really melts, but you should be able to mix them to an even consistency after they're heated.)

Add the sugar, and mix well. Add the beer, the flour, and finally the rest of the chocolate chips, while continuing to mix.

Add the baking soda. Mix quickly, since I think the beer will start to trigger the soda immediately.

Pour the batter into a pan and bake at 350 F for 35 minutes, or the usual knife-comes-out-clean test.


I got to looking at a friend's web page last night. And I got to reading the stories that were up on it, of which there were a considerable number.

Well. I'm not going to be saying who that friend was, on account of it doesn't make any difference to you, and I don't want to embarrass him. And he shouldn't be embarrassed, because it was pretty good stuff; I enjoyed it. What I was noticing, though, was that all those stories had a point.

See, when I started writing, I was all afire to write stuff that had a point. And I did that. Wrote a story for each point I had in me. Took me about a month, all told. Then, naturally, I went wondering what was next -- start over at the top of the list, then?

That wasn't sounding too good, so I started writing stories that didn't have a point. And that kept me writing for a good span. I enjoyed it, and the stories were good, even if they did tend to wash you up somewhere and then roll out with the tide.

And after that, I tried a few things else. For a span, I wrote stories that had the important bits missing. And I was writing stories that were all true -- that was a bit of laziness, true. And then stories that were all lies.

It all got a bit slow, though. Turned cold. And maybe, I was thinking, I should go on and give the whole thing up.

Yesterday, that was. Yesterday was a bit odd. I was out walking, and a holly bush went up in smoke of a sudden. Just smoke -- black smoke swirling around, going nowhere, and a bit of a hissing and crackling. Like snakeskin burning.

The hissing and cracking was a voice -- well, not a voice really, but I won't need to explain that. The high and low is, that was Lucifer. I swear to -- well, it was. And the Prince of Darkness told me I could be a heck of a writer. He could give me that.

What I needed to do, though, was write him a story. An audition, he was saying, although I never knew who I was competing against. He said, write me a story that had a point, but never got around to it; a story that was important, but everything important was left out; a story that was true, but every single thing in it was a lie.

And then I'd be a writer that people would remember.

Well, what could I do? It was Satan. I told him go to Hell, and I went on my way.


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